69. Stolie: How to Reverse Engineer Your Dream Life(Part 2)
season 3, episode 9
Episode: 69
Welcome to Musicians Tip Jar where we talk about musicians and money. Where we think dreams are made of the joy you find in all the little things. I’m Chris Webb, joined by my co-host and the guy always bragging about his little things, Dave Tamkin.
Quote of the week
“Finding balance with kids and a music career is hard but if you want to make it work, you find a way to make it work” - Stolie
Stolie is a singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and loop-pedal artist based out of Chicago, Illinois, USA. With over 25 years of experience in the music industry and performing on stages internationally, she's a seasoned pro. A constant road-warrior and absolutely fearless, Stolie immediately turns strangers into friends through her captivating, humorous and versatile live performances.
Non-profit of the week
Upon its founding in 1979, Swallow Hill Music offered music lessons and community performances. Originally as a suburbanization of the Denver Folklore Center, volunteers formed what is today’s Swallow Hill Music non-profit following the closing of the Center, with the straightforward mission of bringing “the joy of music to life, every day.” https://swallowhillmusic.org/
Dave Tamkin: Still it how do you balance the need to make a living from your music with the desire to create the art that is meaningful to you? Question also has been coming for me just with some, I guess, changes as far as like what gigs I am going to take anymore? Do they bring me joy? Yeah. Do they allow me to be creative? Or are they a soul suck? Well, you were asking a question before to about the difference between gigs or work between the US and Mexico In Mexico, it's very common for bands or artists to play weekly gigs. So you click somewhere in there, and you're there every Friday or whatever it is, or to have like a run of shows like at a theater. So I did that my first five years, I had a regular Thursday gig where I was doing like all covers, I had other smatterings of gigs I did a Simon and Garfunkel show with another girl.
STOLIE: Yeah, that was really fun. It didn't last as long as it could have. But my strategy now this year is that I don't want to be available everywhere. And I want my shows to be different. So even though I'm in the same town, and people have noticed that I've been doing this this season, so like one gig, I do all covers all requests. So I don't have to write a setlist I just show up. They play whatever they want. And if it doesn't sound great, it's because I haven't played it in three years. Thanks for that request. And but like and then people have to wrap the request in money. So then the tips come. So it's a whole gimmick, it works really well. And then the Beatles things a whole different vibe. There's another wine and stocky bar that I play that I do unplugged plugged in, but just voice and guitar otherwise I play with a loop pedal people know me as a loop pedal artists. So then that gig is like stripped down. And the people that were there was like that was so nice. It was so different and relaxing. And it just went with the vibe of the venue. So it was like a group effort create this vibe. Right now I'm considering doing like a bluegrass folk show. So a whole different vibe. But I can do all of these at the same time because they're they're different shows. Even though some of the same people might come they're not all ticketed back home. I'm mostly playing for people i don't know I'm playing in bars bouncing around the bars. I'm not doing as much original music here. Sometimes I do original music shows I have more opportunity to be creative and creating different kinds of shows here. And being kind of a different personality or wearing a different costuming. And that is really fun for me. I feel like I get back here and I get to work on like, what I want to do or what I can do. And I go back home and then I'm just like a cover gig artists like give me as many gigs as you can. I don't care where they are, what equipment do I need? When do I need to be there? And I get what you mean Dave like that those can become the soul sucking gigs and they're I definitely had a couple moments last summer where I was like people are not appreciating this. And now it's raining and no one brought me an umbrella and I was like this stock and then I just had an offer to go back to that place again. And I saw the price tags and I'm like, Yes, I am.
Dave Tamkin
It's funny, I did not define what that gig was, for me, that was soul sucking, I didn't say what kind of gig it was.
STOLIE:
That kind of reaction to a gig is because it's not everything you want, want it to be. And a lot of times, that's the difference between like a gig and a show. They both support me. So I need to be grateful on either side of it. And I am that this is what I always say like, I don't necessarily want to leave Mexico in the summer ahead gigs that pay great. And they're outside and the weather's great. And it's just something I got to do. That's the balance. Yep, that makes this lifestyle work for me. And I feel like, you know, a lot of the questions you guys wanted to ask were about money. And I was like, Oh, I'm not great with money. I feel like, I'm living the dream. But I'm not rolling in it. But that's okay. Because I'm still doing what I love, and living the dream, she do what you love, never work a day in your life.
Dave Tamkin: But that is the point. It's not about rolling in it, it's about being able to roll in your career and enjoy it, and love it and be creative, and have some knowledge about your finances to in order to keep doing that. And to be a full time musician. I guess the stigma for that Chris and I run into a lot is when you say I'm a musician, someone's like, oh, what else do you do? Or what's your plan B. And we don't agree with that. Because you can have a wonderful life, a happy life, and that fulfills your financial needs just being a musician. And no one says, Are you a plumber? Oh, what else do you do? Or your accountant? What else do you do? And I think that's why we have these conversations, to introduce people like you that have a smile on their face that are constantly thinking of different ways to be creative. And also find that balance between, hey, that's the trade off some gigs, they might not be exactly what you want. But you show up with enthusiasm to make them what you want them to be, like you just said, Well, you have these different variety of gigs, you show up differently to each gig to make it something special for yourself. And also for your audience, which is inspiring, as Chris will let me dress up in the costumes I want to for the gigs he books me. So that's the difference.
Chris Webb
But the other thing that we often see still is that, that when we're teaching, especially artists that are just starting to think this could be their career, like you've made successful for so long. They think that when we say we're trying to teach you how to be good with money and try to be wealthy, they think that that's like a negative direction to take their art, you know. And what we're really saying is what we're trying to teach you is how you're going to be able to sustain without stress, right? So that you can show up more to the events and take more of what you want and do more of what you want. And do it for longer without having to become the plumber as well. Right. And that's that's really the mission here is that we're trying to say, it's very possible. And it's it's easier when you follow your heart to be happy and make enough money to live. Right. And you You've definitely been a perfect showcase of that. Well, thank you.
STOLIE
But even just hearing you explain your mission statement, again, I do want to go back to some of your past podcasts to hear what other people are doing. Because I do feel like one of my faults is that my mom says this all the time. Instead I undersell myself, and sometimes I'm like, you know, I should charge more? Okay, I'll just bump it up a little even though I know anybody else or somebody else could easily double that with confidence and get it? Why do I feel like I can't do it? Why am I still even responding to playing a bar gig for $150, which is what I was making 20 years ago. And it's as we know exactly why. Because if I say know somebody who's like, extra 50 bucks, I know 10 songs, I'll just play them twice. Then they come in and take the gig and bars are okay with that. And so it's not the gig for me. I'm overqualified for that gig. And that's that's a hard thing to do is to say no when somebody does want to hire you, right and and that's something that I think I've gotten better with more recently, and just not being afraid to lose work if they're not giving you what you want. Totally.
Dave Tamkin
How did that change was super Stoli as far as like starting a new business, it's just different songs, different audience different way to approach that audience and to relate to them. But I'm sure there was a different pay scale, a different business model to go into that.
STOLIE
Like I said the moment into her friend. She told me off the bat what she was getting for birthday parties, which from the time we first spoke has doubled, as it should. Well, Dave, you remember NACA? Yeah. Like for colleges, there's a similar thing that's probably in every metropolis. That's like where all the park districts go to see what entertainment is available for their booking with could be for outdoor summer concerts or, you know, just programs to bring in. And so I started being involved in that in Illinois, and then I showcased and then you build your mailing list, and you update your contacts, and you do all the follow through and park districts, there's kind of like a standard scale, that if you go over this bracket, just people want to stay within certain brackets. So then you just get to the tip of that bracket. I've been there for years. But this is why I go home in the summer, because I can play a 45 minute show for kids. Granted, I set up the sound. And I bring all the sound usually. So it ends up being like a three hour gig, but it's for under 50 bucks for three hours. And usually I don't get any tips for that. I used to sell merch. Now nobody wants CDs, these moms don't have CD players anymore. They just listen. So I say streaming music everywhere. Yeah. And then like, like I said, bar gigs used to pay 150. Now, I like to be in the 250 to 350 range. But usually tips can almost double that. And so that's a great gig too. If that's where I'm landing, then those gigs, if I'm going to be honest, my rent here in Mexico, is $500 a month. So if in one gig in the US, I can pay for one month rent here, that's a pretty sweet balance. Like I think people say you, your rent should be 20% of your income. Alright, so if I was playing, I mean, I've already surpassed that then with one gig a month in the US paying for my rent. That's why this model works for me, and what I live and what I'm doing.
Dave Tamkin
Now you said in I was there with you not planning and budgeting in when we were doing those tours. But when 2007 came along, and you started having this idea that I'm going to pay myself, I'm taking control of my financial career as a musician, in addition to starting your LLC, that that budgeting change for you to the way you looked at what came in and what left. As far as money is concerned.
STOLIE
I feel like I've never been very good at budgeting, like I said, shifting around the different kinds of jobs I'm doing, I would look at usually after I do my taxes, I would like to print out a pie chart of like, How much am I making from bar gigs or playing it schools and park districts or teaching lessons? And then I would be like, Okay, let's see if I can, like I said, get more of that work. Maybe I don't need to do as much of that. Because time is money, you know. So that's kind of always how I'm thinking about it. I feel like I probably really want to scroll back through some of your other podcasts so I can get advice on how to better manage the financial end of it. But the fact that I've been a full time musician, whether it's teaching or playing for like 20 years, I feel like it's working. work better with a budget.
Chris Webb
And you make that point so eloquently, because it's really not about sometimes making a number that's so astronomically high as much as making it work for what you want, right? Like you found a way to live in a place that you love. And that fulfills you. And it's it also happens to fit really well with your plan financially. You know, that's, that's a gift. I mean, if somebody wants to live in New York, they have a whole different list, right? Like, there's a whole different set of requirements for that,
STOLIE
well, then that's why that person would have a whole different career than I have. Because their, their desires for life look different, their requirements for life look different. And so maybe, you know, they're definitely saying no to $150 Bar gigs. But maybe they're playing in a wedding band, which I've also DJ weddings, it's, it's finding there are so many ways to still be involved with music. And the price tags can go all over the board. I know a guy who plays for like all these golf course, fundraisers, easily making like a couple grand a gig. And they fly him and they do his hotel and like, there's plenty of people doing that. Totally. That's not can't be my lifestyle anymore.
Dave Tamkin
What advice would you give to aspiring musicians who are looking for, you know, looking to turn their passion into a full time career? And how can they best manage their finances to achieve that goal?
STOLIE
Well, I think the first thing is you need to define what you want from your music and in your life. Generally, whether that means like the kind of gigs you want or where you want to live. And then then you figure out the budget you need to afford that lifestyle. And then you go go out and get it, manifest it take the action steps and put a smile on your face and be appreciative live of all the work that you already have and all the beautiful work that is coming your way.
Chris Webb
I love it well is that is that your connection with manifesting is aligning very well with mine and how I really feel like what we've created with this podcast is all aligning with the idea to that we just had to look at it the right way. You know, I mean, the whole financial scale that we've created here that now we're teaching at the university is based around the same concept that it's that these things were already there. We just we weren't looking at the right situations. You know, we weren't doing we weren't approaching the whole thing with the right mindset when you envision what you want to see happen with with super Stolie brand. Yeah, do you see it increasing as your daughter gets older? Because when I was teaching kids, and then I had kids, I had to stop teaching kids because I was like, all my patients is now focused here, you know, so like, what do you see happening with super Stolie in the years to come?
STOLIE
I think, for several years, I was threatening stopping playing kids music and then I got pregnant. And then that was in 2020. So that whole summer, all my live gigs transferred to virtual gigs. So I learned editing and I was having a baby. So I was like, well, obviously, I'm not going to stop doing kids music now because it's going to be in my life anyway with her and she comes all my shows and I bring a babysitter bring grandma so Oh, at least while she's this age, I'm gonna keep playing. And as long as I can still bend over and plug in my cables, which I'm running out of time on that. I mean, that's the other thing is like the moment I appear to be a grandma playing music or kids, like that's not the person I want, as long as I can still, like, be a fun mom up there. I'm cool with that. And that actually, I think has given me a lot of credit in this aspect of my career. Because if people that knew me is just like a fun musician, okay, now she's a mom, now I'm coming from a place of knowing. And I want to take advantage of fueling that into my songwriting and my performances. And on Spotify my I can see that my bilingual music is getting the most attention. So for me, that's where the focus is going to go. And especially in conjunction with this bilingual library project, and that we live in this bilingual community that is like a whole new umbrella for my my career, my interest, even. So, that's what I'll be writing more of, but I think I might be writing more and recording more releasing more than I will be doing shows, I think I need a business plan for how that turns into profit. I will share this one little exciting bit. i A couple years ago released a Halloween Song For Kids got it on a very popular playlist. And then in January, I got $200 for that one song. And I was like, that's the power of streaming. Now, how do I get all my songs on all the playlists you need? Like so many million? All right. Well, I mean, that would be, you know, if I know that those songs are getting the most attention anyway, I would like to keep writing bilingual music, and release it for kids. That's just putting all my specialties together. Yeah. And since I'm going to be doing this music teaching job at a school, I've been doing moms and babies music classes, too. So I'm kind of back into teaching for kids again, I mean, you ask how the how it's going to shift having her in the mix and playing music for kids. And I can't really say because it's kind of fueled by her and what we're doing and how much time I have. And I don't know what it feels like to be a mom while your kid is in school. Like, I'm gonna be like, What do I do with myself? And that'll be like, What can I do with myself? Yeah, I gotta wait for that, you know, transition
Chris Webb
That is great, I think it's gonna lead to a ton of new ideas for you. And one idea that that just kind of came across my mind is that there's a lot of bilingual schools in the US to where they, they would they would love to have someone come in and do what you do as a guest for those performances. And that, that there's a whole whole two are there that you could create my niece and Madison, Wisconsin, that's a bilingual school that she's in. And now I've think thought of that as being the perfect place for you to come in and entertain the masses.
STOLIE
I love it. That would be a really fun tour to do. You're right, especially a couple years from now, when I can just like bring someone with me with her. Right. Good point. Okay, let me work on the album first. And then I'm gonna have a big release, and then book a tour around it. 2024
Dave Tamkin
Yay, silly any, anytime I want anything to happen in my life, I call Chris and I tell him, just Can you please get on this? Can you just start thinking about it and put it out in the universe, and then I get a phone call two weeks later, it's perfect.
STOLIE
Well, that's what I was gonna say about this conversation we're having right now. Thank you so much for inviting me to do it. Because I don't have a lot of opportunities to just talk about my career and what I'm doing and what other people are doing. And it excites me to know that this is a business track and that this is valuable. Just having these kinds of conversations, like irks me to like, get my ducks in a row and war. And then I have a big paper on the wall that has like all the categories of things I'm doing and what needs to happen next, because I just need to see it. Yeah, then I can just Okay, now, what's next? I have my my, how do you say my iron and so many fires right now. And I want so many things to happen at once. And they can, but I just I'm a master multitasker. So,
Chris Webb
yeah. You know, you spit out all these rhythmic terms constantly to when you talk, I could tell that it's just a flow for you. Really, okay. When you listen, if you do get to listen back to this, you should, you should listen for that because you are. It's like you're always writing I think I have like five band name ideas just from things you said.
STOLIE
My friends call me ideas, Dolly. There you go. I just I just love to spitball the ideas. Like it could be a whole album, a kid's album called, that's a great band name. And every song is a band name, but then we'll write a song about it. So send me that list abandoned?
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Action:
Take our favorite step from the Financial scale, G for Growth, and envision your ideal life. Get all of the senses involved and let that place live as your destination. Then trust that the route will be there to show you what turn is next.
Ways to connect with us:
STOLIE: https://stolie.com/ and https://www.superstolie.com/
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As always, Thanks for joining us and remember there is already enough for everyone, you just need to know how to get it. Until next time, on behalf of Dave Tamkin and myself, Chris Webb. Stay happy, healthy and wealthy. You don’t have to have every turn planned out if you know where you want to go, your path will show you the way.
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